Growing up is an unsolicited farewell letter

Time flies, and lately I've been feeling a deep sense that my life is slowly forcing me to grow up. I don't know if it's because graduation season is approaching, but I didn't feel it as strongly last year, or maybe it's because last year's graduates didn't know me as well as I did. This year, however, many of my close friends are graduating, and I can already imagine how lost I must have felt. I realised in that moment that growing up is really scary and we have to accept many changes in our life.

In addition, not only because of my friends' graduations, but a few of my friends will also be moving out to live outside of school in the next term, which means that there will be less of a chance for us to see each other at school, and maybe possibly only in class. This big change has been something I've been digesting lately, trying to let go slowly but not really being able to.

Sometimes I wonder what it really means to grow up. I used to think that ‘growing up’ was a hopeful word, that it meant becoming more independent and capable of making your own decisions and living the life you want. But now I realise that growing up actually comes with a lot of goodbyes and losses. It doesn't come with a bang, but permeates the details of every day. It's the gradual moving away of friends, it's the everyday routines you once took for granted that slowly become unfamiliar, and it's the fact that you have to learn to face your emotions and take responsibility alone. I began to realise that many people and things can only accompany us for a while. Friends who used to eat together in the canteen, revise in the library, and walk me to school at night may no longer see each other every day, and may even grow apart due to the pace of their respective lives. While this change is sad, it also seems to whisper to me that cherishing is another way of growing up. Even if it's just a quick glance in the corridor or a few pleasantries in between classes, those are moments that deserve to be held well in your heart. Growing up doesn't mean that you can't be sad and afraid of loss, but that while being sad, you are still willing to love, cherish, and move on. Life doesn't stop changing and parting will never be the last. But as long as we still have that good memory in our hearts and the expectation of the future, those changes are actually not that scary.