Forward forever

It was the first semester she had spent in the university, not that bad, but also not as enjoyable as she had imagined thousands of times during the struggling years before she finally got here.

The academic burdens were almost as enormous as previous, with numerous homework to do, lots of courses and addresses and competitions to attend, and of course, plenty of deadlines to chase. She always found herself rushing around anxiously but aimlessly, with neither specific goals nor clear directions. It seemed that the only reason lay simply for the so-called higher GPA and other various non-academic scores, for instance, comprehensive quality scores. And it often made her filled with confusion and exhaustion.

Graduating from one of the top schools in her hometown, she was always praised as the “A student” by friends, relatives and neighbors. However, once she entered the Zhejiang University, she was immediately surrounded by floods of talented people, each of them equipped with seemingly more outstanding grades and stunning gifts. Sometimes she had to admit that it was her turn to become that envious audience.

Despite the haunting peer pressure and academic burdens, she managed to find some way out. As the psychological counselor in her class, she often went to relative addresses and the psychological center to learn some professional knowledge, meanwhile ease her own stress little by little. She also cultivated the habit of exercising regularly. Every evening she would go to the playground and run until she was out of strength. Embracing the gentle night breeze, listening to the slight rustling of the leaves and gradually speeding up brought excitement and a sense of achievement to her like magic. When she stepped on the trail and embarked on her route, she seemed to forget everything, good or bad, fortune or trouble, triumph or failure, these were all discarded away the moment she set on running.

As she finally adopted to the brand-new life here, she began concentrating less on the comparison with others or the scores, instead, she came to the realization that nothing weighed more than her own well-being. She started to appreciate the spectacular sunset below the star lamp, to collect the delicate autumn leaves on the grassland, and to drive her own electronic bicycle to a scenic old street some ten kilometers away from school, before which she even hadn’t went out alone.

She still remembered the miraculous sense of freedom when she drove against the cold winter wind to a totally unfamiliar place, in the completely alien city. She wandered around under the dim light of the coffee bars, gasped at the graceful girls dressed in elegant Hanfu and wearing fragrant flowers, and passed by numerous stands selling mouth-watering snacks. Clouds enveloped ahead, and it was not long before rains came. She took out her umbrella and gazed at the drips of water, and suddenly her eyes were blurred with a mixed feeling surging through.

She recollected the sentence she learned in her English textbook, “ and it is the same today, the only way through is forward.” Why did it pop up in her mind now? She didn’t know. But she did realize something. She came to Hangzhou not only to study hard and get good grades, but also to live. So why bother comparing with others and make herself tired both physically and mentally? Just focusing on improving herself, broadening her horizon and enjoying a super unique life would be cool enough.

Maybe she had already found the best trade-off between study and life. Maybe she was still on the way of hard exploration. But what did it matter? After all, she was on the way forward forever, to a whole new lifestyle, to a promising and mysterious future full of challenges and opportunities.