A fresh start? A fresh start!

“So, Welcome!”

Her eyes met mine. Her teeth were incredibly bright, reflecting the light that seemed to come from her very soul. I shuddered, for I always felt out of place when someone showed me that kind of overwhelming enthusiasm.

“Thank you,” I murmured after a brief but awkward pause.

She grinned, and the light in her eyes deepened as she spoke more eagerly. “I hope you’ ll have a great time in our dorm! It’s a nice place—cozy and convenient. You’ll love it!”

I managed a weak smile. She paused, as if sensing my discomfort. “Is something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” I rushed to respond, but soon hesitated again. “I’m just...I just...”

“Nervous? Homesick?”Her voice softened with concern. “You can tell me anything. We’re roommates, after all. I’ve lived here for a year, so I know how things work, and I can help you out.”

Her gentle tone made me blur out my deepest worry. “I don’t think I belong here.”

Maybe it was because she stepped into the shadow of the light or because my words had caught her off guard, but her expression shifted. She looked momentarily surprised, then her lips twitched—as if she were holding back a smirk.

“Don’t be silly,” she said softly.

“I’m not kidding,” I protested. “I passed the exam and got admitted, but that’s just luck. I’m not qualified. I’ve seen the resumes of my classmates—everyone’s excellent, but I’m just a student who learns by rote. I can’t write good essays, and I haven’t found an internship.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but hesitated. After a long pause, she asked, seemingly out of the blue, “What’s your major, dear?”

“Literature.”

“How romantic!” She grinned. “I’m studying law.”

I didn’t answer right away. What was I doing? Revealing all this to a stranger I’d only met yesterday? Another long, awkward silence followed, until she finally spoke again.

“Actually, I was just like you last year,” she said thoughtfully. “You’ll make it, trust me. Besides, I know someone who’s also friends with you, and she speaks very highly of you. We all like you, you know. You always make a good impression.”

“That’s...just because we’ve only just met,” I murmured. “The first time is always nice, sweet even. Everything seems perfect at first, filtered through newness. I show part of myself to charm people, but once they get to know me, they’ll see the real me. They’ll see my flaws, my fading talents, and my humor that’s just been desperately shown off.”

“They all say it’s a fresh start, but how absurd is that? I’m still the same old me, with all the flaws and weaknesses I hate. The only difference is I’m in a new place. But that won’t change anything. I’ll just repeat my mistakes. I will.” My eyes met hers again, this time, I knew they were brighter. The tears of anxiety and humiliation were gathering in the corners of my eyes.

She looked at me for a moment, then softly said, “You’re right. A fresh start has to come from within. It’s not about the environment, but I believe you’ll be ready soon. And I have a strong feeling you won’t go back to the way you were.”

“Thank you,” I said weakly.“What you’ve said is very important to me.”

She smiled gently, as if the weight of my words had been accepted. “Do you like John Milton?” she asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

I blinked, confused. She smiled mischievously. “Surprisingly, we law students read British literature too.”

“Not a huge fan. Why?”

She chuckled. “Ah, what a shame! He’s my favorite. At the end of Paradise Lost, he wrote:

“They looking back, all the eastern side beheld

Of paradise, so late their happy seat,

Waved over by that flaming brand, that gate

With dreadful faces thronged and fiery arms:

Some natural tears they dropped, but wiped them soon;

The world was all before them, where to choose

Their place of rest, and Providence their guide;

They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow,

Through Eden took their solitary way.”

“That’s beautiful,” I said, sincerely moved by the words.

She looked at me firmly.“It’s my blessing for you. You might feel overwhelmed, but the world is all before you. You will make it.”

I swallowed, tears of anxiety and excitement filling my eyes.“Thank you. The world is all before me.”